Obama Leaves Press Conference Note in Ahmadinejad's Locker

Ahmadinejad,

OMG! My press conference was so awesome. Didn’t I look ripped?

Anyway, sooo stoked to talk to you about dumping those freaky terrorist guys and totally coming to hang with me and Michelle. We’ll party like it’s 1979. Joe B. is so NOT invited.

I know you were just joking when you said, “Israel must be wiped off the map.” I mean who would actually say stuff like that? I know you were just getting psyched for the big game and talking some $^&*. Besides, we both know Jewish chicks are great kissers…at least that is what Bill Clinton told me. LOL

Total bummer that your nuclear bomb science fair experiment didn’t work. I’m sure I can drag this diplomacy thing out long enough for you to crack the code and blow up the teachers’ lounge. Dude, you are so lucky I won the election.

I know you need the terrorists to stay captain of the Islamic extremists branch of the Hair Club for Men, but if you don’t chill out you are going to make me look seriously uncool in front of my peeps. I may be president, but prom king elections are just a few months away…and Hillary may get some sympathy votes.

If you need any cash, just let me know. The American people are feeling unpopular, so when we send the terrorists the note reading “Do you like me? Yes, No, Maybe” tell them to mark maybe. It will get me, I mean you, all the money for your projects.

Give Ali Khamenei a fist bump for me.

LYLAS and BFF,
Obama

PS – Want to go halvsies on the motorcade for prom?